Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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