the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
