He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
