mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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