Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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