Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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