I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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