There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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