Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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