i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
