too bad you live with your parents still
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
