I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize