a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
