You're so nebulous sometimes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
