I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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