he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
