Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
