Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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