he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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