He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
