If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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