so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
