OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
