I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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