She's JV to your varsity
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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