Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
