So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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