He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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