Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
