Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
