Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
