wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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