he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bring me that man meat
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
