Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
