At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
