Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
