Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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