I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
