Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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