That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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