explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
