who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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