Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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