so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
