So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
