even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
