That's intense
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
