trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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