i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
