I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
