Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
