didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
