we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
