I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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