I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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