yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
