Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize