So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Randomize
