So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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